Thoughts & Practice

What do we do with endings? How might we make sense of endings and learn from what has come before?

I have a series of questions I have taken to asking at an ending; these were inspired, in part, by one of my teachers, Jim Finley.

• Before this piece of my journey began, what was I anticipating? What did I imagine might come of this experience? What fears arose before I began?
• What “posture” did you assume as you began? Why do you think you assumed that posture?
• What marked the beginning for you? Your plan to be part of this journey? A specific date when this journey “officially” began? Perhaps there is no specific way to mark the beginning; did is gradually come to you that you had begun?
• What is the first memory you have after this journey began? What feeling does that memory elicit?
• What discoveries did you make about yourself on this journey? Strengths? Weaknesses? Patterns you unconsciously live? Hopes you did not know you had?
• Were there disappointments along the way? What were they? How do you feel about them now?
• Were there personal triumphs along the way? What were they? How do you feel about them now?
• What surprised you most on this journey? What about this surprised you?
• What role and/or roles did you find yourself playing in this journey? Did those roles fit? What did you learn about yourself as a role-player?
• Who was the author of your experience? Did you passively accept what was given you? Did you actively create your own experience? Was there some combination of both?
• Did you experience transformation? Did you fully engage?
• What might you want to explore more fully about yourself and your learnings in the future? How might you do that exploration?
• What learning might you carry from this piece of your journey into the next beginning?
• Did you pick up new ways of describing yourself? Did you discard ways of describing yourself?